SCHUMER: "I CAN HAZ A CONSPIRACY THEORY..."

Chuck Schumer has got it all figured out in his head.  It's all a gigantic conspiracy...

If anyone is surprised about the government shutdown, Sen. Chuck Schumer said the tea party had it planned "almost a year and a half."

"The tea party was planning almost a year and a half before it happened. The issue of Obamacare is almost incidental. The real issue is they have almost a principle that they wanted to shut down the government because they hate it so, and that’s astounding," Schumer said on CNN's "New Day."

Schumer went further to say it was "meticulously" planned and that Speaker John Boehner has conceded to go along with it.

"So anyone who thinks this is an accident that, 'Oh, the president is equally to blame,' oh no, the tea party planned this and very, very, very meticulously and so far successfully executed it, assuming Speaker Boehner would go along with them, which unfortunately was a correct assumption,” Schumer (D-NY) said.

Meanwhile, in other conspiracy news, Harry Reid, Carl Bernstein and Jay Carney are very concerned that the liberal media is also "in on it" and that members of the press corps need to get back to being loyal stenographers for the Dear Leader and other high-ranking party apparatchiks.