"I want to stop doing this."
This was the penultimate line uttered in the Season 6 premier. It was Don Draper giving his answer to the question, "What do you want for the new year?" The questioner was the lady he was in bed with, Sylvia Rosen (played by Linda Cardellini), his neighbor and the wife of his friend, Dr. Arnold Rosen. The unanimous verdict of the professional reviewers is that Don's answer indicates that he wants to end the affair. The only question they seem to have is whether or not he can stop what he's doing with her. Their conclusion is no, he probably can't stop and therein lies some tragedy.
I see it completely differently.
The reviewers have assumed that Don is showing remorse or guilt about cheating. But I disagree. When she asks him what he wants in the new year and he says he wants to "stop doing this," he's not expressing a desire to stop cheating but rather a desire to stop having to sneak around. He wants more control over the relationship, as is his nature. He wants what he wants and his statement is a petulant response based on some previous discussion they’ve had in which he's expressed that he wants more and she is the one who is saying no.
To believe that Don is being remorseful is to assume that he is unable to control himself. He wants to stop…but just can't? I'm sorry, but that doesn't jibe with Don's character. He's perfectly capable of putting a stop to a situation when he wants to do that. It's much more in keeping with his character to be impatient and impulsive about going after what he wants.
I suspect that he has fallen out of love with Megan and has become disenchanted with his married life. He wants this woman. He may even be in love with her. And since Don is all about controlling the situation, he's not comfortable having to get what he wants whenever it's convenient for her. I think there's been a conversation in which he expressed his desire that she leave her husband and that he's willing to leave his wife and it's the other woman who has said "no" to him. She is the one who prefers to keep her marriage and continue to have a fling.
I think it's this denial of him getting what he wants that led to his enigmatic statement. Her response - "I know" - indicated that she's heard this before and sympathizes but has already put her foot down. If Don is "helpless" at all it's his difficulty with walking away from the challenge of getting what he wants. A polite "no" to Don only causes him to want it more. It's only after he gets what he wants that he begins to lose interest.
Remember what Glenn said at the end of last season's Fees and Commissions: "...everything you think is going to make you happy just turns to crap." Don responded positively to that question. He identified with the sentiment.
With the exception of the time that has elapsed since we last saw the gang (approximately nine months), we already know the backstory of Don and Megan. The Rosens, however, are mostly unknown to us so far. We can guess at Don's reasons for cheating on his wife but what about Sylvia? What's up with her?
A possible clue as to why she would be dissatisfied with her marriage and willing to cheat is the way Weiner, who wrote the screenplay, went out of his way to emphasize certain differences between Arnold and Sylvia. The doctor is Jewish and his wife clearly isn't. Because it's Mad Men and the writing is superb there was no need for anybody to state the obvious. The clues were there and unmistakable.
When Don and Rosen were in the elevator together early in the episode, Don said "I guess I don't say Merry Christmas to you." Rosen replied, "Save it for Sylvia." Before we even knew who she was, we saw Sylvia making the sign of the cross as Jonesy was on the ground having his heart attack and her husband was doing CPR.
In the bedroom scene with Don and Sylvia, the first thing we saw as the camera panned over to the bed was a crucifix on the wall and a small bust of a praying Mary. Knowing how meticulous the producers are about authenticity and staging the scene, there's literally nothing in a scene that is incidental. We were meant to see the evidence of Sylvia's Roman Catholicism.
Another clue occurred during the New Year's eve toasting when it was just Don, Megan, Arnold and Sylvia. She made a point of using the Italian toast cent’anni and explained what it means ("a hundred years"). Movie fans recognize the toast from The Godfather II. And then Arnold joked that it's the Italian version of l’chaim (a Hebrew toast that means "to life").
So just like that it's established that we have a Jewish doctor married to a woman of Italian heritage (most likely either a child or grandchild of immigrants) who is a Roman Catholic and probably a devout one. We didn't realize it until the end of the episode but since it was Sylvia who gave Don the book (or encouraged him to get a copy and read it) we have yet another example of her Italian and Catholic background.
The Divine Comedy, of which The Inferno is the first part, is considered by many to be the supreme work of Italian literature. And, of course, its subject matter is based on Church doctrine regarding hell, purgatory and heaven. Perhaps Don and Sylvia first bonded over some intellectual or literary discussion. If I'm right about the situation then her Catholicism would be a reason why she is unwilling to divorce. It would also frustrate Don and result in his faintly petulant response to her question.
I really do think the ethnic and religious differences could be significant. After all, Weiner could have made the couples anything he wanted. He could have made them a Jewish couple…or an Italian couple. He deliberately chose to create the dynamic of an inter-faith marriage. He made the other couple non-specific American. If there was no ulterior motive involved, why not make both couples generic?
If the relationship between Don and Sylvia is strictly sexual and of no real consequence to Don, then why sleep with her on New Year's eve? The presumption since the end of last season has been that Don feels a sense of abandonment because Megan is off pursuing her dream and finding fulfillment in her acting career. All last season Don had resisted letting her go. When he finally did let go and even give her a needed boost, it seemed clear to me that he did feel alone again, despite the fact that on the surface everything seemed as good as ever. So if he were to begin cheating again it would be to pass the time while Megan was off pursuing her career and perhaps a little bit out of resentment of her for "abandoning" him. While Megan's away, Don will play.
But Megan wasn't away this time. She spent the night in their home, entertaining guests on New Year's eve and when it was over she was in his bed, available to Don. Clearly it was Sylvia's need that was taken care of. She was the one alone in an empty apartment. She's the one with empty nest syndrome. So the need in this case was entirely hers. Why would Don care about satisfying her needs unless he cared about her? If she was just a meaningless fling then why risk getting caught when he could have just crawled into bed with his wife and had his needs taken care of?
I enjoyed the episode. Mad Men episodes are dense with symbolism and allusions and hidden meanings. I've chosen to focus solely on a development that didn't even happen until the final 20 minutes or so of the two hour show. But I've always focused on Don more than any other character. So his issues are the ones I think about the most. Megan is Don's wife. Dr. Rosen is Don's friend and Sylvia is Don's lover. Something's gotta give!
I have a tendency to go into matchmaker mode when it comes to Don and the women in his life. For the record, I was one of the few who correctly predicted that Don would wind up marrying Megan. I remember the night that I just knew (The Beautiful Girls). I have that same confident feeling now despite it seeming like I'm the only one. There's more to Don and Sylvia than the so-called experts think. No matter. I can't wait to see how this goes. I'm just so happy that Mad Men has returned!
UPDATE! Here is the scene in question:
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